I was thinking about softness, and how it changes your vibe. We’re all very smart, very clever, very defended. We don’t want anyone to see how films about animals make us cry, or our scrap booking, or all the mistakes we made and continue to make around everything in life. We don’t want anyone to see that we’re lonely, or frightened, or exuberant about the simplest things. We don’t want anyone to see us being childlike and hopeful. So we cultivate our intellect, our opinions, our thoughts on where we’ve been and where we’re going.

Today I was in the kitchen eating what I’d cooked, when my husband walked in. I have a horrible history of burning food. There was the time several months ago when I retreated to the microwave, defeated, afraid my absent-mindedness would burn the house down (talk about repressed rage). In the last few weeks I’ve been trying the stove again - scheduling cooking time, staying put in the kitchen, turning on the timer, sharpening my attention, and not burning anything! I’m cured! I’m a cook! I’m not a menace, I can do this! And the ground turkey I cooked in the pan smelled very nice on my plate. And he says, alarm and accusation in his voice, “Did you burn something?”

“No!” I look up at him in shock.

“It smells like you burned something. Something’s burned.” and he walks into the kitchen.

“No, no!” I defend, going for the pan, picking it up to show him, feeling five years old and incompetent. “It’s just nicely brown, see?” I say forcefully, totally righteously. It’s his nose that’s wrong.

“Well, it smells like something’s burned.”

All of a sudden I get what I really feel. Yes, I’m five. I screw up my face and do big time mock crying and whining. “But I didn’t burn it!” I wail. “I didn’t….” and I go all gooey, pan in my hand, miserable. And in that second, my husband does a 180. His eyes go deep and very blue-green, he smiles so fast I’m taken aback, and he comes towards me, arms around me, “Ohhhhhhh,” he says. And that’s the end of it.

“So, how’s your day?” he skips right to his next thought, and he’s standing right up against me, and we’re connected, and I leap from five-year-old to grownup, from lump to goddess. Long ago, whenever this happened, I used to think it was because he was competitive and didn’t want me to be big. I thought he liked me girly and the loser at chess and gin rummy. I thought he was scared of my fortitude. Now I know that’s not it at all.

He just likes me better soft. He likes me better where I am than where I wish I was. He likes me better human than mistake-proof. And by liking me better this way, he encourages me to rise to the ultimate test of any relationship: He inspires me to say that I like myself best when I’m with him.

In her packed Los Angeles workshops, relationship coach, author, speaker, and radio and TV show host Rori Gwynne teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own now-glorious eighteen-year marriage around. Visit Rori at http://www.CoachRori.com to get the Free Coach Rori Mantra and Translations for Connecting with Men, to sign up for the free, powerful CoachRori e-zine, and to see how Rori can help you Have the Relationship You Want.

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It’s an expression of your personality, on display to all visitors - and it makes both the first, and the last, impression. It’s also where family members congregate to lounge around, to watch television, to read or simply for a relaxed chat. Designing this space correctly is crucial.

FURNITURE: Consider the focal point and arrange the rest of your furniture around it. If you have an imposing statue, for instance, or a grand piano, let this be the center of attention, and set the other furniture around it. It’s important to consider traffic in the area; does the arrangement allow free movement and give an uncluttered look? Try off-square angles, for a warmer and more casual look. Also, instead of having your sofa touch the wall, you could consider placing it a foot or so away and install a plant or a lamp. To create a “lived-in” aura for your living area, position small furniture in the room. This can be a small bench, or a low sofa table. Place magazines, journals and newspapers under the table. Placing flower vases, baskets and small plants on your table also creates beauty and livens up the room.

For people who have space and want to make a statement, a 12-ft running sofa in artificial leather and off-white will get your guests talking. There is a growing preference for antique furniture used in consonance with contemporary furniture - for instance, a straight-line sofa set with an ornate center table. Today, furniture suitable for different segments of society is available.

COLOURS: Do you want your hall to be a vibrant, or a restful, space? Colours can intimidate, invite or irritate. Green is a relaxing colour and there are several shades to choose from. At the other end of the spectrum, there are people who like orange and red on their walls. Choose a shade that goes with your personality, and ensure your carpets and furniture are well-coordinated. Of course, for the most classic, elegant look, creams and whites always work best, providing the perfect canvas for experimentation with upholstery and furniture.

MIRRORS: If your room is small, particularly, mirrors can add space and depth.

LIGHTING: This can really create or affect the mood in your living room. Don’t go in for harsh tube-lights in your living room; they may seem more practical, but do not do anything to bring in a soothing atmosphere. Try focus lighting for items like artifacts and paintings.

WORKING WITH A BUDGET: If your budget is low - say, about a lakh for the living room, opt for basic, minimalistic furniture - cane sofas can also be truly elegant. Colourful mosaics or simple kotah or Jaisalmer stone slabs should be used for flooring to give warmth. Rugs or colourful chatais or durries can be dramatic. Use earthy cottons for upholstery so that stains aren’t too visible, and stack colourful cushions around to make your space welcoming. Carry the terracotta theme further with pots and other artifacts. Straight lines, with minimum maintenance and materials are quick to work. Try ceramic or vitrified tiles in an economical range. For the walls, velvet touch emulsion paint can be used.

Instead of opting for expensive materials like marble, play with colour and texture. Avoid false ceilings since they can be expensive and will need maintenance. Of course, if you have a high budget, there is nothing like Italian marble and expensive artifacts to make your living room special.

Find out more about this in http://www.mumbaiproperties.info

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Graceful and chic are the words that you will hear when you ask any home renovators what kind of look they want for the kitchen. Surfaces, including countertops, influence to a large degree the look of a kitchen. That is why chic graceful looking countertops are in demand. There are actually many home renovators who are designing and making their own countertops. One way to add a modern highlight to a traditional countertop is to create beveled wood edges for your countertop. Beveled edges on wood are relatively simple to make and there are other benefits as well.

The beveled wood edge countertop is most easily added during the replacement of an existing laminated countertop area. You can also opt to modify your current countertop by adding a beveled wood edge; but most homeowners find once they begin planning a kitchen makeover, a brand new countertop is a must have. Given the right tools and materials just about any one can renovate a laminate countertop with an elegant beveled wood edge. It is a project that can even be finished in only a few hours.

When shopping for supplies for this project, make sure your new edge wood matches the wood in other features of the room, such as cabinets, if they are unpainted. If most of the kitchen is or will be painted, bring a paint chip and make sure the color of the wood is one that will be harmonious with the room as a whole.

For making the bevel in your wood edge strips, the best tool is a compound sliding miter saw. This is an electric saw which pivots from side to side to create the miter cut, as well as pivoting left to right to create the bevel. If you don’t own one, you can rent one, or alternately, have the store where you bought the wood size and bevel it for you. Be sure to do a few practice cuts on some scrap wood if you have not previously used one of these saws.

A nice extra to having updated kitchen d

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